Rainbow after the storm

Pain is a part of our lives. There’s simply no avoiding it. I experienced a lot of pain when I was young. Even though that pain was completely out of anyone’s control, it still hurt. Trying to process pain at such a young age wasn’t easy. I entered my twenties wondering “Why did I lose my Dad at the age of 49? Why did I have to watch the strongest man in my life wither away to nothing? Why does my sister have special needs? Why is my life so unfair?”

My perspective was so warped that it affected how I saw other people. I remember looking at complete strangers and wondering “How can they possibly be so happy? Is their life really that easy?” I didn’t even know it at the time, but I was looking at the world through a cloudy, self-centered lens. I have to admit that my world was very limited in size – mostly due to my family’s circumstances. Regardless, I was making some very unjust assumptions. I had no right to assume that a stranger’s smile meant they were happy. And I certainly had no right to assume that if they were happy, then their life must have been easy.

It amazes me the type of judgments we can make in the blink of an eye. And those judgments can feel very real too. False judgments certainly warp our perceptions of reality. It wasn’t until years later that I realized I was working through a lot of trauma. Which explains why I was looking at the world through a lens. Trauma has that sort of effect on us. So does grief and depression. I certainly was going through my fair share of that as well.

The older I’ve gotten, the more I’ve learned that the people who appear to be the strongest or perhaps the happiest on the outside are often the ones who’ve been through the darkest storms. Logically speaking – how can anyone truly appreciate happiness without having suffered at some point? Suffering may look completely different for everyone. It can come in the form of losing a loved one. It can come when raising a child with special needs. It can be a cancer diagnosis. How about the type of suffering that happens in poverty-stricken countries where people struggle everyday just to meet their basic needs? Suffering can be short-lived or can go on for many years. Regardless, it’s still suffering.

You may be going through moments of suffering right now. You may find yourself in the midst of a suffering so intense that you cannot breathe. If so, I understand. I’ve been there. If your life seems unfair and happiness seems unimaginable right now, it’s okay. Don’t judge yourself and don’t let anyone else judge you. Just keep surviving. Because you will survive. Even if you have to focus on one day at a time, or possibly even one moment at a time. You may be in the middle of one of the fiercest storms of your life. But I promise there will be a rainbow after the storm. There always is. And what’s more beautiful than a rainbow peaking through the clouds after a fierce storm? If it wasn’t for that storm, the rainbow wouldn’t even exist.

Don’t ever assume you know what someone else has gone through. If you haven’t walked a mile in their shoes, then you have no right to try and put yourself there. Don’t be quick to judge. It’s human nature to look at other people and fabricate all kinds of stories simply because of how they look. Try to catch yourself in those moments. Maybe that person is smiling because they got a much needed break from their home life. Or perhaps that person is smiling because they are trying their best not to cry. Judging others causes more harm than good.

Lastly, if you happen to find yourself in the midst of your current struggles, have faith. I guarantee those struggles will only make you stronger. Every season has a purpose. Be patient and eventually that rainbow will appear. As Bob Dylan once said, “Behind every beautiful thing, there’s some kind of pain.”

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